A Knit Hat, A Bald Head

It was a summer evening, a week after my last chemotherapy appointment, and I was dressed up as Britney Spears circa 2007 for a costume party, donning my very bald head in all its glory. I was sharing the sensations I felt having no hair to a group of women — the cold patter of a light rain, how the wind flowed overtop of me, the bone chill I felt when it was exposed at times, and the overwhelming relief I felt when I had a hot flash and took off my head covering. As I described these feelings, someone mentioned I should write a poem to capture them. Forgive me, I have not attempted to write a poem since elementary school, but here is my best attempt:

Bald beneath the heavy sky
my scalp meets the cool, gentle rain
each drop a small reminder

Bald beneath the gray sky
the wind sweeps over top
urging me to breath

Bald beneath a bright blue sky
the sun warms my soul
a spirit that will not break
every lesson learned

No hair to hide behind
exposed to all the elements
a weightless feeling
here, alive in the quiet storm

No longer bald
and in my own power
embracing the new
fighting for the next chapter

As the seasons turned to Fall, the moments where I felt chilled became more frequent, the hot flashes subsided, and my hair began to sprout back. I needed more protection for my bare head, so I quickly knit a hat.

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If you want to knit your own Hygge Hat, check out Wool and the Gang. If you want to knit a hat for a cancer patient, check out Passing Hats.